Life as I know it...

I was doing really well. I have had many wonderfully fun moments with my students this year.

But things aren't good. I am barely holding myself together. We are filing bankruptcy. The phone calls are blow after blow to my self-esteem. B and I are fighting. It's often and painful. I feel like I've lost my credit, my self-esteem, my best friend, and frankly, my life.

I know that I tend to over-react. I've been trying to work through that. On Friday, I had a good evaluation. At the end, however, he revisited dual-credit classes. I've been trying to hold them off. Grading tons and tons of writing with four preps is something I don't want to do. I already grade a lot. I've been the one closing the building down most nights. I think with my home situation on top of everything, I'm so overwhelmed that I can barely think straight. I figure I may need to get a second job. I have no idea how to be a good teacher, mom, wife, housekeeper, grader of a billion papers, and teacher at the college level in high school.

Since Friday, I have had a terrible headache. It is so much pressure. It won't go away. I don't really want to go on meds. I was doing so well holding all together until then.

I've lost 7 pounds. I'm proud of that. Oh, but how I want to try to eat away all of this at the same time as I'm sick to my stomach. I can't think straight anymore. I can't pretend it's all ok. I think maybe I should take a sick day soon. This is just not good. Holy moly.

If you are still reading any of this, God bless you. What a rant. I'll try for something a little more chipper soon.